dailyinsider.info FRIDAY MARCH 31, 2006 Print Edition Back Issues Search Free Unclassified Ads Arts & Films Contact |
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Bizarre, exotic, strange, mind-boggling, too good-to-be-true messages come across the Internet, promising joy, rapture, riches and enlightenment. This is one of them. This is a totally fool-proof, 100 percent clad-in- stainless-steel step into the future, where you will be taken to a hitherto unmapped warp in time that will release your powers, which, until now, have been rigidly bound by work rules, loan payments, worn out tires and un returned phone calls. It is so simple. But you must follow the rules. Daylight savings time begins officially at 2 a.m. Sunday, April 2. Most of America will be setting clocks ahead by one hour upon retiring the night before, or scrambling to set clocks ahead after daylight. Do not! Why settle for a measly one hour when, with a little more effort, you can gain days, weeks, even months or in the extreme, years? You may have Christmas in July if you want. Why? Well, the weather is better, the stores aren’t crowded, the kids won't have to worry about whose turn it is for Christmas. You can barbecue Christmas dinner. Do not wait until 2 a.m. Sunday, April 2, to set your clocks ahead. Set them ahead tomorrow afternoon. Do not stop by setting them ahead by one hour. Set every clock ahead by 3,648 hours. This will fast forward you to Sept. 3, 2006. Enjoy your Sunday. When you wake up the following Monday, take the day off, because it will be Labor Day. Instructions: For exact instructions on how to derive the full benefits of this incredible time-management plan, go to wxw.taufcharneski.fun. Caution, do not select the instruction website until after midnight tonight. Home & Garden Idea Fair dates set Clark Public Utilities’ annual Home and Garden Idea Fair returns to the Clark County fairgrounds for a three-day run, Friday, April 28, through Sunday, April 30. The show, in its 15th year, includes the region’s largest plant sale, along with hundreds of home and garden exhibits, special presentations, and innovative energy technology displays. Exhibits will fill both the Exhibition Hall and the plant-sale building and will also be shown along the fair midway. Admission is free. However, there is a $5 fee for parking. In addition, canned food donations and cash contributions to the utility’s Operation Warm Heart are suggested. The show is produced by Clark Public Utilities, with assistance from the Specialty Nursery Association of Clark County, the Washington Association of Landscape Professionals, The Columbian and 1190 KEX. People Donna Mason, director of Media Services for the City of Vancouver, has been selected to receive a Distinguished Alumni Citation Award for the year 2006 from Willamette University, university president M. Lee Pelton announced this week. Citation honorees are chosen for outstanding service to their professions and their communities by the board of directors of the Willamette University Alumni Association. News briefs Thursday, between 4 and 10 p.m., detectives from the Clark County Sheriff's Office Tactical Detective Unit and the Vancouver Police Department's Neighborhood Response Team conducted an anti-prostitution sting operation in the Hazel Dell area. As a result of their combined efforts, nine people were arrested for prostitution as well as other crimes. n Tickets for the Hot July Nights’ Beach Boys concert in Esther Short Park on Friday, July 14, are not yet on sale. For information on ticket prices and availability, as well as corporate sponsorship opportunities and group tickets, go to www.hotjulynights.com. n The Oregon Chamber Players’ student apprenticeship program is open to high school and college-age students. Deadline for applications is Wednesday, April 5. For further information, call (888) 627-8788. Calendar Kazoodles’, specialty toy store west of Vancouver Farmers Market at 575 W 8th Street, grand opening is 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Saturday, April 1, and noon to 4 p.m. Sunday, April 2. Bizzy the Clown will be in attendance. n Innovative Services NW Caring Heart Awards dinner and celebration begins with a silent auction at 6 p.m. Saturday, April 1, in the Heathman Lodge. n Violinist Angela Svendsen performs in the Commander’s Bar in The Restaurant at the Historic Reserve at 6 p.m. Saturday, April 1. There is no cover charge. n Teen Battle of the Bands, sponsored by Fort Vancouver Regional Library District and Nettingham Audio, is 7 to 11 p.m. Saturday, April 1, in the Noise Box, Lacamas Conference Center, 2025 Goodwin Road, Camas. Admittance is free.
washingtonpost.com NCAA Tournament tracker Bald eagles abound in Clark County--Columbian, Erik Robinson NBA backs out of talks to rescue Blazers--Oregonian, Helen Jung Voter-created caps keep Clark County property taxes down--Oregonian, Bill Stewart Rice concedes 'errors' in Iraq, elsewhere--USA TODAY, AP
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